Faith, Faith, Flour, & Sawdust

Anxiety is not my friend

Anxiety takes my breath, my sleep, my energy, my well-being, and parts of my life. I have an anxiety disorder and suffer from panic attacks. They grip me and make it hard to breathe, to make sense of my surroundings. Most of the time I am racked with hysterical crying. One attack can lead to another and I can spiral down a dark hole. Anxiety is an overwhelming feeling that something is very wrong and you’re helpless to stop it. The brain desperately looks for a cause, but there’s none to be found. It’s truly one of the most distressing experiences you can have.

Psalms 37:8

Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
it only leads to harm.

I don’t fear change so much, my youngest doesn’t handle changes in his world. But I guess the change in my body in the last 9 months scares me. I am making drastic changes in my diet, lifestyle, and my home life. I guess I never really thought of change being behind my attacks. If I think I am in control it creates a calm in me. Lack of control gives birth to my fears.

My anxiety is one of when I feel lost and out of control. My body is something I no longer have control over, I try but it fights me daily. When I feel I have lost control over my daily functioning is when my anxiety is when I lose my grip on my world. I take two medications to help control it and function through a day. I do not think for a moment that I am weak because I do. I know I needed help dealing and working through these attacks and sought it out. I am not a second-class citizen of heaven. I don’t have to feel this way.

Anxiety always asks what if, it makes the worse impossible outcomes seem possible. It is a sense of dread that floats around. Anxiety imagines a threat. Anxiety can be a prison if we are allowed to live there. But who wants to live in a prison? Anxiety is not a sin, it is an emotion.

Luke 21:34

“Watch out! Don’t let your hearts be dulled by carousing and drunkenness, and by the worries of this life. Don’t let that day catch you unaware

My panic attacks also come from fear. Fear sees a threat and that makes it even more dangerous for someone like me. I fear that I will never regain control of my body. I fear that at any given moment I will lose my control on my grip of the moment. Calise can sense minutes before a panic or anxiety attack grips me. I am not sure how she knows but she knows. She does anything and everything to get close to me, even on top of me. She is like a weighted blanket and that weight, that feeling of love and security helps to calm me. Hugs help, they really do in my case.

I feel guilty about my attacks, yes I know crazy but I do. I apologize to people if they are witness to my attacks. I feel guilty that my family has to deal with me and these attacks that give no warning.

Philippians 4:4-8

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Greek the Lord is near.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Max Lucado spells it out to us in his book Anxious for Nothing.

Celebrate God’s goodness

Ask God for help

Leave your concerns with God

Meditate on good things

The most important thing in my life is my belief system. It is the most important thing about me. To know me is to know what beliefs I hold strong to and my faith in the things that cannot be seen. I am learning to let go of the idea of controlling my life. Being a control freak doesn’t help my anxiety. I can’t control the world, but I can give it over to God. I am trusting in him to be the pilot of my journey in life. I am daring to believe those good things are happening and will happen in my life. He has not let me down in the last 42 years.

I am a firm believer in essential oils and supplements. Several supplements are used to reduce stress and anxiety.

  • Lemon balm: Lemon balm is a member of the mint family that has been studied for its anti-anxiety effects.
  • Omega-3 fatty acids: One study showed that medical students who received omega-3 supplements experienced a 20% reduction in anxiety.
  • Green tea: Green tea has many polyphenol antioxidants, which provide health benefits. It may help stress and anxiety by increasing serotonin levels.

Some supplements can interact with medications or have side effects, so you may want to consult with a doctor if you have a medical condition.

Some scents are especially soothing. Here are some of the most calming scents:

  • Lavender.
  • Rose.
  • Vetiver.
  • Bergamot.
  • Roman chamomile.
  • Neroli.
  • Frankincense.
  • Sandalwood.
  • Ylang ylang.
  • Orange or orange blossom.
  • Geranium.

Have a blessed day, love the ones you are with, and remember we are not guaranteed tomorrow but we are guaranteed coffee today.