Faith, Faith, Flour, & Sawdust

We survived

5 years ago started one of the worst 36 hours of our life.

Back in November

My mother in law went in for a hysterectomy, they opened her up and immediately closed her back up removing nothing. They went out and gave the bad news to the family gathered in the waiting room, we were not there due to jobs and school.

My husband got the phone call. Sue was riddled with cancer. Most of the organs in her torso had cancer, some where completely taken over with the disease. The doctor had told my in laws that she had 5 years. This was completely pure fiction, we had 3 weeks at the most.

After a week in the hospital she was moved to a recovery facility/nursing room. She spent a few days there. That is when we knew her days were numbered. This was also the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. We were told we needed to come to KC immediately.

We left our kids in the care of my parents amd drove to KC. When we arrived we found her in poor health and worse then they they lead us to believe. My husband had to tell his dad that mom did not have 5 years, it would be a miracle if she had 5 days. This broke all of our hearts.

We needed power of attorney but with the holiday and us not being local this was a challenge. We found someone who would notarize the papers but had to wait until Friday.

I went amd ate Thanksgiving dinner with a childhood friend, little did I know that this would be the last time I saw him but that is a story for another time. My husband stayed with his mom and dad and decided that she should be at home in her final days.

Hospice was our option but we needed a caregiver, that would be my cross to bare. I have a morbid fear of death, I don’t do funerals well. I don’t go up for final viewings even with family members. I have horrible panic attacks prior and after funerals for days. But God whispered that I needed to do this one last grace for my mother in law.

Hospice moved fast, faster than her family liked but we were fine with it. Saturday her bed was delivered and she was at home resting. We had a nurse that came by once a day otherwise it was my father in law and me caring for her. My husband had to go home. I was left to the wolves of her family, not her husband, but her sister and nieces. I made it through but it was rough with they evil words and actions.

Monday my mother in law asked if my grandfather would come pray for her. I called my grandfather and he brought two others to pray for her. After they left I stood in the gap but she whispered to me that she accepted Jesus in her life and to make sure her grandchildren knew God and Jesus. This I had to promise her, it is a promise I have kept.

My husband was called back Monday to KC, bringing our kids this time. Tuesday was spent with her in a morphine coma. Wednesday morning she died with her husband and her only child watching her go.

We had to wait several weeks for her ashes amd then for the cemetery to ready things.

Fast forward to Feburary 1, 2015

We had my mother in laws funeral and had a great lunch with family. Then we said are final goodbyes to my grandmother. She was in hospice care and her breathing was very shallow. It was a matter of time. We drove back home to St. Louis.

What a busy day, but it was nowhere near over.

My oldest son had gone out and returned home close to midnight. Several minutes after he came home I had a knock at the door. There at my front door was at least 6 police officers. My oldest had a warrant of his arrest amd was taken off to jail. My husband and I knew nothing of what was going on. I say on the steps and cried for an hour. I questioned what had just happened but got no answers.

The next day we tried to get answers and found it hard. My husband finally got some answers but it looked like my son would be in jail for a matter of weeks if not months. We got a lawyer but being the weekend we could not visit him in the county jail yet until Monday. His bail was set high and cash only. He was there, if you do the crime you have to do the time.

That afternoon we got ready and went to church. We dropped the kids off in the children’s area amd found or friends. We were set in walk into the main auditorium when the text message came through at 4:37pm, Grandma was gone. I knew it was coming, we moved off to the side for a moment so I could process what I just read. My husband and friend asked if I wanted to just go home. That is when God spoke to me and said, “This is where you belong, you need to stay”.

That was the 36 hour trifecta that challenged my faith. My life didn’t return to normal for months but I kmew where my faith and God were asking me to be.

We all survived and today my oldest is now drug free for 5 years. He is a good young man with a rough road ahead but he will make it, God has him.

Have a blessed day, love the ones you are with, and remember we are not guaranteed tomorrow but we are guaranteed coffee today.