I don’t know about your husband but my husband doesn’t have buddies he goes and hangs with. He is not a buddies type of guy. That is why he married me, so that his best friend is also his wife. This is a built-in relationship with the extra bonuses.
While our husbands are just fine doing life with us and us alone it is not enough. Men need to build those friendships and we have a responsibility to encourage them.
My husband is a car guy, no wait he is a car God. He has been messing with cars since he could probably walk. He can rattle off what year and make by the front end of a car. Me I am a creative soul and can barely tell you the year of my car. My way of fixing a problem with a car is to turn up the music until I can no longer hear the noise.
But while we were dating I read books on cars and tried to understand his world. I really did, this was before Google searches. I read actual physical books from a library on cars. I learned the difference between horsepower and torque. Horsepower takes you into the wall, torque takes you through it. I tried really hard, then we got married and I stopped learning as much. I had him why continue on?
After marriage “guy time” made way to house cleaning and children and jobs. Hobbies took a back seat to life. Rebuilding his dream car would have to wait until retirement or the children were out of the house at least.
What are the things your husband loves to do with you? Sit there and think back to your BC years, before children. What does he like to do with you? Hiking, float trips, watching football, or all the Fast & Furious in an afternoon?
It doesn’t matter if you like them, what does he like to do? The fun comes from watching the joy and happiness on his face. Let him reconnect with his long forgotten loves and hobbies. Call of Duty anyone?
Is it possible for you to learn something new? I know golf or fly fishing is not exciting as shopping but does he love it? Does he like to play a game that you don’t? Ask him to teach you. Your willingness to learn something for him can be a huge boost for him.
Husbands have a lot of responsibility on them most of the time. Doing something he likes can lift some of the heaviness he feels.
I pray that my husband can see me as a lover and a friend, as you have intended.
Have a blessed day. Love the ones you are with. Remember we are not guaranteed tomorrow but we are guaranteed coffee today.